Bullet Journaling for Dummies

    I have always written down notes, lists, and short stories; sometimes that included writing down dreams too. Over the years, I have went through tons of journals. Most of the time, I wear them out before they are even filled. I have found that over the years, it has helped to put whatever is going on inside my head, down on paper. One of the downfalls of that (for me at least) is I usually end up with three or four journals/notebooks going on at a time. My journals were becoming just as scrambled and disorganized as my brain was. I felt like I couldn't go without at least two of my journals being on my person. What if I some idea or thought came up while I didn't have them? I wouldn't remember what I needed to write down until I got back home. So, I ended up carrying my purse, and whatever else I had, with me. My notebooks usually ended up in my arms like carrying textbooks in school. Those of you that don't know me, I have five children. I don't have enough hands for that kind of nonsense. 

    About two years ago, I started seeing bullet journaling become more and more popular. I didn't know anyone that had personally done this type of journaling but it was very intriguing to me. Bullet journaling as a name isn't really helpful as a title, it's not an outline format wherein you add bullet points under. But I didn't know for sure.  For the next several months, I continued to search the internet for some better type of explanation. I really needed to know what it entailed and how to participate in the growing trend. 

    During that research period, I had brought up my confusion about having a bullet journal to m boyfriend. To my surprise, he had one of his own in the past. "Well why didn't you say so?" says I. We had a good laugh about it and then he explained the simplicity of it all. He explained that it was a free reign type of journaling; no structure needed. That sounded crazy and messy to me but I jumped in with both feet. I started my own bullet journal last year and never looked back. 

    When I started, I thought I needed the structure. I am indeed a control freak (I go to the meetings! 😂). I was legitimately scared of just running with the idea of no structure. I googled so many different bullet journal ideas and what other people had used in their own journals. I had so much information that it had the opposite effect; making me panic more. I ended up structuring each and every page in two days. That's all fine and dandy, if that's what works for you! I felt better knowing what I needed to do on each page. I missed the point of having a bullet journal and it hurt me in the end. (pictures to be added soon)

    I had a couple of empty pages in between the structured, calendar pages. I thought that the structure would keep me on point and remind me to keep up with it everyday. Using it like that though, only hurt me in the end. Some of the weeks, I needed more space to journal or more pages to get my thoughts out of my head. Other weeks, I had wasted space because I didn't have as many things to journal about. The overall about my first bullet journal wasn't necessarily bad, but it wasn't helpful for me. Now that I have started my second one, I am able to look back and see my first one as a stepping stone. It wasn't as structured as a calendar, but it was way too structured to be a benefit to me. It was my stepping stone between completely structured and completely free form. 

Querying is NOT Awesome

    So you've written a book and you can't believe you actually did it. Hell yes!!! You finished a book!! Go you!!

    Now what??

    Editing. Cool. You send off your manuscript and pray to ALL the gods that they don't eff up all your awesomeness. You sit on your hands, hoping they don't return your work with nothing but red streaks through the entire thing. Is your editor going to be as harsh as that asshole English teacher you had back in high school? What happens if your editor just sends you an email saying, "I can't help you, this sucks way too much." I know that these thoughts were some of the many thoughts that crossed my mind after I sent off my own manuscript. It won't happen, I promise. Your editor is on your side!

    After WEEKS of waiting (not so patiently) you've finally got an edited, ready to be sent out to different strangers, book. Are you ready for judgement?? Me either. I have almost zero self esteem. I always worry about what everyone else thinks of me. Why in the hell would I purposely send out something that I created, to strangers, so that they could judge me?? That sounds like a TERRIBLE idea. Here's how that monologue went through my head:

    "Um, here, stranger. I have this massive typed story that I made up all by myself and um it's probably terrible. It is terrible. I don't even know what I'm doing. Sell you the idea? Okay, there's this guy and he's um a great guy but also an idiot. And there's this girl and she's cool, oh but she's like me. I'm not cool, so maybe she's not? Never mind. You're right, this is a terrible idea and no one will EVER like this story. Can you read it, judge it, without hurting me? No? Okay then, maybe I'll just keep it to myself. I wouldn't want to read it either. Why am I doing this? I can't do this. But I want it so much! I'll do it. I'm just gonna do it.......Crap. I shouldn't have hit send."

    Welcome to the fun of querying!! Isn't it exciting!?! No! It's not. It sucks!!! The entire point that I am trying to make here is this:

YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HATES QUERYING AND IT MAJOR SUCKS FOR US ALL!!!

    No matter what stage you are at, or how many times you've gone through this stage, it still sucks! You have a goal in mind, whether that be just getting your story out, just publishing, just wanting to help people, whatever the reason, querying still sucks! And it takes FOREVER!!! Not only are there guidelines that you have to follow, (they change per agent/publishing house) you have to sell your stuff to them. You have to be able to be confident in your manuscript. Confident enough to make it sound like something they need/want to work with. If you can't, you gotta fake it. If I figure out how to do that confidently, I'll let you know!

    It will be three years this July since I first put that opening sentence for my debut novel onto a piece of paper; in the middle of the night no less. Two years of that was writing, and four months was editing, but I'm still waiting on something other than a rejection. Why is this taking so long?? Doesn't anyone understand that this is important to me???

    So far what I've learned is that if I keep up a total amount of queries out there in the universe, it keeps me from hating it too much when I do get a rejection. To explain better, my number is 20. I have 20 queries out there to 20 different people at a time. If I get a rejection (or five) on Monday, Monday night, I'm sending out more queries to different people to get back up to that amount of 20. It keeps me out there, trying; ahead of the game. Some of those queries take WEEKS to come back with an answer. It's NERVE WRACKING! Waiting and wondering who is going to respond, when, and what they are going to say? Let me say it again. Doesn't ANYONE understand that this is important to me???

    One of the best parts of all of this hard stuff is that 99% of the rejections are nice. That other 1% wasn't not nice, just kind of short. I keep hearing over and over again, "It's subjective, keep trying". So I am, and you should too! It sucks, and it's hard, and it takes WAY too long. I think we'll make it!

    Try to remember that you are not alone! Get on Twitter and join the #writingcommunity. They are amazing! The group is full of authors in so very many different genres, and different stages of their writing careers. The entire group is super supportive! Reach out! That includes to me! I'm here for you and we can definitely work through this together!

    Cheers to making it, one day! Hopefully sooner rather than later! Don't forget you are a badass and you'll make it! Don't stop fighting for your goals!!

Spring, I'm Tired of Waiting

    Are you sick of this snow and cold crap yet!? Me too! I'm so tired of being cold! I do not make my own body heat and I can't handle always being cold! I'm wanna kick that gopher thing too for seeing his shadow this year! This is all his fault!! 

    I absolutely love being outside. I always have. My favorite writing spot changes a lot (usually depending on the weather) but when it's nice outside, that's where you'll find me. I have a ton of space in my back yard and huge flower beds around my house. If the sun is shining down and making everything warm and pretty, when you step outside of my house, all you can smell is the different flowers in bloom. It's a wonderful thing. Sometimes I just lay out a blanket and lay in the yard, under a tree and write for hours. It's amazingly relaxing and super helpful for all the creative juices! We won't talk about the one time I fell asleep and woke up a total lobster! 

    This last year, we got a hammock on a base (instead of hanging between trees) and I basically lived in that thing all summer. I was able to work on my book for hours at a time; writing, creating, scratching things out, and writing some more. It was a beautiful thing until my 150lb Great Dane, Apollo, tried to join me on the hammock. I'm sure it looked exactly like you're imagining it did. That dog is a mommy's boy all the way and no one bothered explaining to him that he is indeed not a small, lap dog, We both went toppling on the ground under the hammock and he just laid down next to me like that was what he was trying to do all along. 

Here he is taking up half of my king-sized bed but still believing he is tiny!! 

    Currently, while all this snow and disgusting wind keeps happening, inspiration has to strike from my limited work space in my room. I have a small desk in here to work from and that's fine but again, I don't make my own body heat. So most of the time, I'm in my bed, propped up by a pillow with three blankets on top of me. Just writing away in my cozy little spot. Lately, I've been lighting a candle or putting on some music in the background to break up some of the monotony of being in one room instead of being amongst the flowers where I would really like to be. Until the flowers come back, I guess I'll just stare out the window longingly, just waiting on Spring to arrive so I can be back outside. 

Leave a comment about your favorite writing/creative space!!