About halfway through my cup, I set it on the counter and grab my fish-shaped watering can. I have several large plants throughout my house that need tending to. As I walk from plant to plant, watering each in turn, Harper joins me walking between my legs and purring. When she was a kitten, not all of my plants survived her vicious curiosity. Now, she only has curiosity for the birds that fly around outside of her window.
Returning to the kitchen to replace my watering can, I finish off my first cup of coffee and refill my mug. I bring my mug with me back into my bedroom, Harper doesn’t follow me as I make my bed and then lay out the clothes that I’m going to wear for gardening today. I pull on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a pair of old tennis shoes, and a ball cap. I head for the back door and stop in the little mudroom area to slather on some sunscreen before heading outside. I call for Harper and give her a treat. This has become a routine for the both of us. Whenever I leave the house, she gets a little treat and then I give her two when I return. Harper crunches it happily and sits, watching me as I step outside and close the door.
The sun is warm, the birds are singing, I can smell all the beautiful flowers and my neighbor’s freshly cut grass. I make my way over to the shed on the side of my house. When I pull open both doors, the sweet smell of fresh dirt fills my nostrils. I stand just inside the shed as I allow my eyes to adjust to the lack of light. The ferns that I bought yesterday come into focus just where I left them, on the left side of the shed. I grab one in each hand and take them out to the yard, before I grab two more; there are ten in total. I return to the shed for my hand shovel and gloves. I wipe my the already accumulating sweat from my brow and then wipe my hand on my jeans.
The ferns are heavy, but not too large yet. I plant all ten of them in the flower beds before I return inside to take a break and get some water. Harper comes running as soon as she hears the back door open. I smile as I give her two treats for my return. My legs shakily carry me to the kitchen and I grab an apple as well as some water. I want to finish the work outside before the heat gets unbearable but I have to eat something. I sit at the bar with my apple and water and watch the bird house again. Harper jumps up to the stool next to me and watches their messy little dance with me.
I give myself ten minutes to eat the apple and relax before heading back outside. Harper gets her treat before I head back to the shed. I pull out the monster-sized lawn mower from the back of shed and walk it down the ramp to the yard. It only takes me four tries to pull start it; I’m getting better at it. The lawn mower is self-propelled but still requires a lot of strength to control it around my yard. I put in my ear buds and start the hour-long task of cutting the grass. After it’s finished, I feel accomplished as I breathe in the sweet smell of my hard work.
As my eyes flutter open, I feel confused. I can still feel the lingering warmth from the sun on my skin. The smell of a hard day’s work in the garden is still lingering in my mind. I’m not curled up in my own bed, I am stick straight in a hospital bed. The sheets are white, but not rumpled. The smile that I know I felt in my dream is completely gone. It is always raining in my head. I can’t move. I haven’t been able to move anything below my arms in the last two months. I can’t figure out if the dreams are fun escapes of the mind or if my mind is torturing me because of the life I lost. A life I will never have again.
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